Missing my Mom and Papa

Last April 14 was my father's 15th death anniversary. I still missed him terribly. There are times when I wish I am a child again and back in his arms. He is a very good provider and my clown. He never fails to make me laugh even if I am throwing my tantrum.

Then this coming April 25 will be my mom's 15th anniversary. Yeah, my parents died the same year, just days apart. It's really a heart breaking moment for me and my siblings. We were so used to having them always on our side. I miss my mommy. She has always been there to comfort me. She would always encourage me. There are times that I wish I can see them again and embrace them even just for a few minutes.

Because of their early death and my lupus, sometimes I cannot help but be worried that Anevay won't grow up without me. Yeah, that is one of my biggest fear. I am always praying to god that such fear won't materialized. That he would give me a chance to see my little girl grow old. I hope he will grant that wish.

Weight Loss

I wanted to believe that I am successful when it comes to weight loss. Since I don't really eat that much and my dress seems a size bigger I guess I am shedding off some pounds. This is the reason why I don't want to buy any pants right now. I might end up not using them just like the ones I bought before we went to Kuwait. But with all the sale that I am seeing, it's really tempting to shop. I saw some pants that I like in Gap and Dorothy Perkins. Yet, I am trying to stop myself because right now we have limited funds. hehe. And we are trying to save for something big. Which I hope would be successful. hay.

Gaining Weight

The husband and I are happy that it seems Anevay is gaining weight. I guess she's really adjusting. She always eat fries and cereals. In fact her favorite snack is coco crunch with milk. I guess because she is much happier having her daddy every day it mirrors also her appetite. You can see her face light up every time she hears the keys move and it's a sign for her that daddy is home. They would play and you can hear her giggle. These are priceless moments. And I don't have the heart to cut such moments even if I am sick and wanted to go home. I am just praying really hard that this is just a simple flare. Similar to those that I experience at home. I am just glad that now I have the husband's presence to calm me when my LUPUS attacks. God, guide us.

Daddy's Brat

Haha. Actually Anevay really is not a brat. But there are times that she is trying to and that irritates me. Especially when we are out in the mall and she would be running around. She seems to be full of energy and you would think that she is drinking those human growth hormone. When we are in the mall she would sometimes swing in her daddy's arm. Or run into the escalator. Really I sometimes got scared just by looking her walk. haha.

And she has a new line. Every time I say no to her demands, she would readily say, Can I go to daddy. Indeed, a daddy's brat. Today, she was asking her daddy to buy her a barbie laptop. Not sure though if they would be able to buy one.

Working!

I really am not in the mood to blog. But I got some expiring task so I don't have a choice. This past few days I cannot find anything worthwhile to do online. Maybe because I am so caught up with watching the Criminal Minds. I was so into the series that I kept on dreaming about the scenes. lol.

So today I decided to stop watching first and prioritized work. I was able to sleep first and then I when I woke up around 2pm, I started blogging. I am just happy that I am little by little finishing my task. Tomorrow is the start of the weekend for us. Since the husband don't have work every Friday and Saturday. We might go out and that would mean I won't be online. So I'll finished what I can finish today.

Remembering

Facebook really has been keeping me sane this past few weeks. We rarely go out now because the husband is a bit busy at work. It is also my choice since I am scared of the sun. Really, I am not kidding. I am a bit worried that the sun would cause flares so I am trying to avoid it. That's why to keep me from being bored I tried looking into my friends Facebook account. And man, the uploading of our class picture brings back a lot of good memories. Memories when we are young and preparing to conquer the world. It's really amazing how grown up we are now.

But every time I see our childhood pictures, I cannot help but be sad especially when I see a childhood friend who is full of life at the time the pictures where taken. He is a friend every since kindergarten but died 10 years ago due to vehicular accident which is related to his drug problem. I was thinking, if only the family was able to put him into rehab (just like the California Drug Rehab) then maybe he is still alive today enjoying his family.

You see drug addiction is not a simple problem. And it's really hard to resolved especially if those that are around are not yet willing to accept what is going on. I remember a story that my friend in California once shared to me. He said that Drug Rehab in California can really help drug dependents but of course there hands are tied if the one who is suffering addiction and their loved ones would deny the problem. Well, that's really true.

Facilities like California Drug Rehabilitation offers a great deal of chances to a drug dependent to recover. They establish an environment that looks like a home away from home. Yet they won't be success if the person involved is uncooperative and don't want to recuperate.

Wants

Right now I have not eaten lunch yet. I am still thinking what I wanted to cook and eat. Last night I got the shrimp from the Sinigang na Hipon that I cook the other day. I sauteed the shrimp and the egg and then put in the rice. So for dinner we have fried rice and paksiw. It was yummy.

But today I cannot think of what to cook. We have fish in the freezer and cauliflower. I am too lazy to cook. haha. I wanted something else. I want STEAK...again. lol. And a baskin robbins chocolate ice cream in a sugar cone. Yeah, this is what you can insane cravings. I wish the husband would go home early today. hay.

Coffee Please!

I am not much of a coffee drinker. But I realized that sometimes your preferences would change because of your environment. Like right now. Before I was so used to waking up in the morning with a cup of no cook oat meal. Since I cannot find the brand that I like here, I am now contend to drink coffee or chocolate drink to warm up my tummy. Unfortunately I have yet to discover what drink would best suit me. One that will not only give me the energy to perk up my day but also lessen the tummy problems I am encountering every morning.

Right now I am intrigued to try the single serve coffee I read in alpinevalleycoffee.com. Actually AlpineValleyCoffee.com is a leading distributor of Keurig K-Cup coffee. Keurig K Cup let's you brew your favorite coffee or tea for less than a minute. That's fast and convenient especially if you are in a hurry. This would be nice for those people on the go.

I wish the husband would be able to locate a vendor here for this cups. It's good that Alpine offers free shipping over $30, and offers free samples on orders consisting of 3 or more 25-pack purchases. But the question is do they ship here.

That's Crazy

Even if I am sick everyday this past few weeks, I am still glad that we are on a vacation. The little girl is at her happiest right now because she has her mommy and daddy always. I am happy because every night before I go to sleep the husband and I would talk and laugh about how our day was. It's something I am looking forward to because it somehow lessens the loneliness I am feeling because I am far away from home.

And we really have a good laugh when I told her the lines of the little girl. Anevay was playing in the computer when I noticed that she kept on moving. This is a sign that she wants to go to the bathroom. So I asked her if she wants to. And she replied, 'That's crazy!'. I wanted to laugh but kept my voice and face neutral since I have to tell her that I don't like the way she replied to me. Urgh! She is growing up so fast and the are influences I cannot control.

Recipes

One of the most challenging task that I have to do as a mother and wife is to plan the menu for the week. I thought it's hard when it was only me and the little girl but I realized it's harder now that I am with the husband and we are in a country that does not have the ingredients, vegetables and even the fish that I am so used to. Take for example last week. We went to the fish market. We spend about an hour there and when we came out all I was able to buy is two kinds of fish and one vegetable. lol. It's really hard you know. But I am glad that the fish vendor knows the name of the fishes in Filipino. And there are supermarkets here that sells stuff from the Philippines.

But still coming up with a weekly menu really is difficult. I have to think of meals that would both appeal to the husband and the little girl. And I have to make sure that I don't repeat the meals within the two weeks span to avoid the food taste fatigue syndrome. So to do this I have to relay on my instinct and the internet for recipes. In fact, I even look into using some Holiday Recipes so that I can have a wide array of menu choices.

Really maintaining a household is challenging. I am just glad that today there is the internet which you can go to in case you need some information that will help you. Just like the ivillage.com website which has a lot of stuff that helps a lot of ladies and wife out there. They have entertainment, recipes and even tips that would be worthwhile for your house and family. This is one of the many blessings that we have today.

This too shall past

Remember the time when I can barely walk and you have to hold my hand so that I can take the steps towards your car? Remember when I eat properly and we have to think of the food that I can eat without throwing up. Or the days and nights at the hospital and we don't have any definite date as to when I can be discharged because they cannot figure out what is wrong with me? Or when I was discharged I was throwing up on the way to the house and have to be admitted back because I was too weak and I already need dextrose and blood transfusion. We have been through so much. What I am experiencing right now is just a percentage of what we have successfully surpassed.

Thank you. I know you have been worried sick about it me but remember this is part of my life. And even in pain I am still thankful because you are always there for me. Really to give anything to ease the pain. Be strong. I will stay strong. I love you both that's why I am not giving up. This too shall pass.

Not so Normal

I have stopped looking for cure for hair loss since the hair fall stopped already. But now I am monitoring my skin. The wounds on my hands have been cured and now I am using gloves when I am washing the dishes. I am also using sunblock and moisturizer. I kept on using DOVE because the water here keeps my skin dry. I have an unsolved problem though -- my feet. They are achy and the skin really is dry. I hope I can find a solution asap.

Enroll or Not?

One day last week the husband ask me if I would want to enroll the little girl to class here in Kuwait. I asked him if that would be possible and said it is. So now I am thinking if I would enroll her or not. I am a bit hesitant since I still don't have the confidence to go around. You see we have been here for a month now but I still have not go outside by myself. If we go to the mall the husband is with us. Maybe, that's the reason also that I got the blues. It might be possible that I have an active lupus but I am also thinking that boredom is getting into me.

Beauty

Last week I cut the bangs of the little girl. It's growing already and have been reaching her eyes. So the husband told me that it's time to cut the hair. Unfortunately when I cut her hair my hands are trembling. It's part of the many complication of LUPUS. And because of that the cut did not go perfectly well ;). How I wish I enrolled on the cosmetology school in Illinois so that things like this would be just easy as 123 for me. Also if I enrolled myself in school like regencybeauty.com, I won't have any problem right now when it comes to my nails. I still have not have them clean and I am thinking where would I go for service. I am in an unfamiliar territory and having sensitive nails is not helping. Right now, they are already aching. I hope next week I can have them clean already.

Rest

Last day of the no work weekend. Yesterday I am thankful that we were able to go out. I was feeling okay. But now, I have spend the morning in bed, sleeping again. The husband was teasing me that I might be pregnant which I answered him I hope so but unfortunately that is not a possibility since I already got my period last week. Yeah, it came on time, it did not even gave me a room for false hope. lol.

Right now I am craving for ice cream. We have haage dazs in the ref but I don't like it. I would want a baskin robbins or magnolia or selecta. lol. Also I am trying to decrease my intake of sweet. I really wanted to trim down. Hopefully the decreased in my weight will continue.

If Ever

Despite the fact that I am still not used to everything here and I am sick everyday (literally), I am still happy because we are together. Never mind if I still don't have an insurance as good as the health insurance in NC but I know we will get there and soon.

I am also praying that one day when the husband goes out of the country again for training we would be able to tag along. I wanted to visit Germany and Paris too! lol. But that would be a long way to go. I am not sure what the future hold but we are praying really hard that God would allow us to continue to be together.

Decisions to make

I always want the simple life. But I think the more you craved to be simple, sometimes everything goes the complicated way. Right now the husband and I are discussing which road to take. It won't be an easy decision for us but since we want what's best for the family we have to consider the pros and cons. We have to weigh things. WE still have less than three months to do so.

I am praying that everything will go smoothly. and knowing that god is in our side I am more confident that whatever happens in the future it's for the best.

Remedies that Works

I hope I can formulate an effective homemade acne remedies that would help me with the acne that I have right now. Seems like my skin is still adjusting. I have flaky skin and it's easily bruised. My ears are swollen because I kept on scratching them. I wish this would be over soon. I have been applying lotion every now and then hoping this would combat the dry skin.

I am just grateful that Anevay is not having the same problem. She is actually the same. No adjustment whatsoever on her part. In fact, she feels totally at home here. And we think she is gaining weight. The husband is so happy with the development.

Birthday Gift

Ho..hum. It's April already and a month from now, it would be my birthday. I was teasing the husband that I want a gift from him. haha. He was asking me what I want. Well, the truth is, I just want to teased him. I really don't know what gift would I want since I know we have been spending a lot every since our vacation. And we are saving up for something major.

But if ever, I really want to have a ring. Or a new phone. Or a new bag. lol. I don't really have an idea but h3ck I can come up with a list. haha. Today, if he is not working we would be going to a mall that has an LV boutique. wink! wink! Nah, I am not buying. I just want to window shop. Sayang. I was not able to see the Burberry store in the mall where we had dinner last Tuesday. Was really tired. And the little girl dozed off in her daddy's shoulder.

Under the Weather

For days now, I have not been feeling well. The husband is a bit worried especially since he saw the bruises on my ears. I am telling him that I would get better soon but he is now hinting that I might need some medical help. I told him what I need right now is a good massage and maybe a colon cleanse diet. Yeah, cleansing is definitely a good idea.

But unfortunately since I am still adjusting on the food here I cannot say no to a glass of cook and bags of chocolates. lol. Speaking of food, last Tuesday, we went to Fridays. The husband treated me to a nice meal of steak. I was craving for a steak and he happily obliged. There are pictures but I am too lazy to upload. haha.

Funny!

Don't you think it's funny how some people would talk against you when they would always approached you for some help and assistance? I recently learned that there are group of 'so called' friends who are just trying to be hypocrite with each other. Imagine they would chat as if they are real friends but afterward they even have a gall to call someone an alias even if that person is helping them in their 'online job'. Funny, right?

And I just realized that this people would think of you as boastful or bragging if you have something more that what they have. I just really found that outright funny. Their way to cover up their being envious on others people good fortune is to say nasty things about her. So beware of this kinds of person. You don't know who are real and who are not.

Night or Day?

I have been planning to wake up early, around 5am, to go down the basement of the pad and some rounds on the treadmill, stationary bike and lift some weights. Unfortunately that just remain to be a plan. I wanted to lose weight and thinking that I can used a diet pills would be a big help. Oh if you want to know about one diet pills you can click here to learn more.

Anyway, back to my plan. I am thinking that if I cannot wake up early then maybe doing the exercise during the night (although many have said that exercising in the morning is much better that doing rounds on the evening ) is way better than not exercising at all. I am looking forward to using the sauna. And as the husband promise, he'll buy me a vest so that I can swim in the larger pool.

Is it BRAGGING?

I know social networking website were built to connect people. But somehow sometimes these sites because a source of irritation. Oh, not the site but the users of this sites. Just a couple of weeks ago, a friend posted something on his wall. I told the husband that I am so pissed off by his status because I felt that it was discriminatory. The husband even agrees with me and said that somehow it's being racial. Well, I just felt sorry for the guy. Years and he still have not yet changed a bit. Still the same with a big ego.

Then last week, I read a status again. This one, she was enumerating her job etc. etc. I know being a stay at home mom and carrying on a job at home is not an easy stuff. You have to divide your time, have patience and strength. But it's your vocation. And you choice it. I was laughing when I saw a comment that she should complain to her husband. haha. Bulls eye! I don't know what she wanted when she posted that but h3ck I am also a stay at home with a job and unlike her I don't have a cleaning lady you know. I don't even have a mom who lend a hand to help. hmm. I am just ranting. haha.

Status like this wants me to react but since I don't want to start any argument I keep mum.

I should START now!

I am bringing three months of Kumon worksheet with me. Also, the learn to read toy that I bought from ebay. But a week after our flight here I still have not attempted to open them. I was hoping next week we could start because by that time, the room that we intend for Anevay is already cleaned and decorated. We would be shopping for bed, tables and even some cardboard displays.

Though I am quite hesitant in buying stuff for the room since we are not yet sure as to what the future for us would bring. But the room and bed seems too small for us especially now that the little girl is growing. Oh well, we will decided.

This are the MOMENTS

The husband received a customer call early in the morning. Actually the call woke up us both. Then the little girl also woke up. While having our breakfast we were chatting. And with the little girl conversing we cannot help but laugh. Some of her smart comeback :

Anevay : Would you like this or this (this or this happens to be her cereals and only here cereals)

While I was laughing,

Anevay : What is so funny mommy?
Mommy : Nothing, baby!
Anevay : oh, you are just laughing ? ;).


And lastly, this one a winner. Anevay loves saying the word pwet. She learned that from her classmate. I tried stopping her from saying it. So, while doing her thing in the bathroom, she said it again. And I gave her the look.

Anevay : Why, mommy? Don't you see my pwet ? Don't you have a pwet?

Waaah! I give up! hahah.

A different kind of Holy Week

This is the first time I would be spending Holy Week away from home. In the past, especially when I was a kid, Holy Week means no tv, no entertainment but just a week of going to church, commemorating it. Since we live in Pampanga, we would see a lot of individuals who do their own sacrifices. Those who carry the cross would pass by our house. Later, when we transferred to Marikina, there was a change. But we did not forget to go to church.

But now we are in a country that has a different culture. Though the country has a church but until today the husband has still work. So, I am left to watch tv, blog and even checked auto insurance quote to keep me occupied. I would have wanted to go swim but right now I am under the weather. I have coughs and cold. So, I choose to watch Angels and Demons. Hopefully tomorrow we can visit the church.