I am not FEELING WELL

...physically and emotionally. I am now in a state that I just want to stay in bed and do nothing but sleep. Hoping that once I woke up I would be able to see a brighter day. But I know that is just being a coward.

I am not feeling well emotionally because the husband celebrated his birthday without us. It is tough but I know his condition is tougher. Though, he had a good laugh when our little girl greeted him 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY' on the phone. It’s not the first time we are in this situation. And I thought I have grown to it, yet here I am still greatly affected.

I am not feeling well physically, I feel in am on the verge of getting flu. I have lazy mornings which tells me that my LUPUS is just around the corner waiting to attack my immune system. There are nights when I feel a short stab on my chest. It keeps on stabbing me when I took a deep breath. I am hoping that this is nothing yet I am afraid to go for a laboratory test to prove that nothing is wrong. My LUPUS is still on controlled stage.

This situation of longing and my LUPUS is draining my system. I know I needed to maintain a positive outlook but how can me when all I see is the negativity of LIFE. Even know that I am writing this, in the hope that I could release some tension, is not effective.

One thing I know that could help: BREATH IN, BREATH OUT, TOOK A DEEP BREATH, BOW MY HEAD and PRAY and say THIS TOO SHALL PASS, THY WILL BE DONE. SIGH!